There's a Special Place....

...in Hell for You.

Ladies and gentlemen, I apologize for the large amount of time I haven't posted.  I am a busy bee (aren't we all) and blogging, for some reason, requires a huge amount of energy.  So you can thank my professor for posting a broken slideshow for this chance to write a new blog post. 
When I started this blog, I told myself it wouldn't be one of those where I would just bitch about things that annoy me.  But sometimes I feel like the things I go through are pretty funny, and that those of you reading can relate.  So this post today is for the people who do profoundly annoying things and their (hopefully) eventual destination in the afterlife.

1. People who don't check their blind spot before changing lanes.

• Please view this Allstate commercial as a visual representation.

      Is it so hard to check?  I don't think so.  All it takes is a little head turn to make sure your gargantuan Escalade doesn't run over the little Smart Car in the next lane.  But in reality, there are around 840,000 side to side accidents with 300 fatalities per year in the United States because some lazy ass just decided to come on over.  Thank god I have really super awesome insurance, because I'm sure out of those 840,000 accidents some fool doesn't.  And in interest of fairness, I just recently purchased a Honda Element, a definite size up from my Toyota Camry.  And while it's a little harder to check the blind spot, yes, because it's much larger, I make a point of doing it because A) I don't want to kill anyone, and B) I am too poor to fix someone's car if I bonk into it.  Check your blind spots, people.  One little head turn could save you thousands.  Idiots.

2.  Mouth breathers.

 

To be categorized with the squealy nose breathers and the leg jigglers.  Mostly I encounter this in a classroom setting.  Mouth breathers either have some noxious disease that has plugged their sinuses like a drain in the equine science major dorm bathroom (hahaha sorry, horse girls), or they just never learned that their nose has special holes made for breathing.  The result is that they end up always leaning toward you and doing their best impression of Darth Vader right in your face.  And, because they don't keep their mouth closed, it's dry, and a great place for smelly gingivitis bacteria to party.  (On a funny side note, there is a band called Mouthbreather, and they totally have a myspace.)  If you're a mouth breather, for goodness sake find some nasal decongestant, get that deviated septum fixed, and stop breathing on me, I'm trying to take notes.

3.  Professors that want you to know "everything" for the exam.

This may stem from the fact that I had the worst exam of my life the other day, but professors can be divided into two categories: ones that are one your side and ones that want you to fail due to some underlying power dynamic.  The second type are the ones I want to talk about.  My professor for that horrible exam held a review session for the exam on Thursday that Tuesday afternoon.  As of Tuesday afternoon, he hadn't even written the exam.  So essentially, we couldn't even focus on certain topics because he "didn't know" what would be on the exam.  And of course when the exam rolled around, two of the questions (out of four questions total) were on a concept that we studied for half a lecture (about 40 minutes) out of 10 hour-and-fifteen-minute lectures.  The most irritating answer a professor can give to the question "What should we study for the exam?" is "Everything."  Sorry, dude, not gonna happen.

I always thought that a professor's job was to teach you things and help you do well on the exams.  But there are some wingnuts out there that feel like their subject is the stuff of Nobel prizes, and if you don't know every insignificant detail, you don't know jack, and thus should fail.  Those teachers are not teachers.  They're buttheads.  Also, you've had 4 days to grade the exams, why aren't you finished yet?!

4.  Over-Explainers.

This may be a more personal vendetta, but as a scientifically-oriented person, I value answers that are to-the-point and not drenched in unnecessary explanation.  My new manager is one of these people and naturally being new, I have made a couple mistakes.  What gets me fuming is that rather than just pointing out the mistake, she walks me through the reasoning why it's done that way, the history of the development of that particular method, how people feel about it etc.  What could be a thirty second conversation has been dragged out into a 5 minute long thing.

This post will be continued, because there are many more people who belong here.  Stay tuned!