Do you have a restroom?

I just want to take a blog post and comment on the strange activities of Homo sapiens.  Working in a customer service job (read: smoothie shop) I get to see the many sides of people and their habits. 
There are several types of people that come in, and I can categorize them about two seconds into the routine "Hey how's it going today?"

1. The Need for Speed
     -- These people walk in on a mission.  I barely get the customary greeting out of my mouth before they yell "CanIGetARegularSizeStrawberryBananaSmoothieWithProteinAndEnergy?" in about one millisecond.  I blink. I take their money.  I make their smoothie. They're out in under one minute.  Most of the time I like these people because I can get back to my life really quickly.  It's a little unnerving to be yelled at, however.  It would also be nice if they took a breath among some of those words, just so I don't have to put my CPR skills into practice.

2.  Wow, There are so many Choices!
      -- These are the people that don't realize that fruit smoothies all taste essentially the same: sweet and fruity.  They stand staring at the menu boards for ages, reading every single description of our nearly 50 smoothies.  They ask which ones I like, or which ones I would suggest, and then totally disregard anything I say anyway.  Once they pick their drink (finally), I ask what size they would like.  The decision process starts over as they think to themselves "Do I have the extra 75 cents? Will I be able to finish that?"  When they order the 'medium', and I'm to the point of insanity, I then have to ask if they want any supplements.  The earth stops turning while I wait for that choice.  Seriously.  Just pick something.  You'll be happy, I promise.

3.  Too Much Information
      --I am just going to lay it out: I do NOT want to hear about your gall bladder problems or the fact that there's allegedly a law in Arizona allowing only 2 sex toys in your house at one time.  I don't need to be recruited to other jobs while I'm working, and I don't care about the cruise you just got back from.  On the flipside, do not say to me "Wow you're busy, huh?" when there is a line out the door.  I'm aware.

4.  Do you have a Restroom?
     -- It just boggles my mind how many people use our bathroom.  I thought the greater majority of the public only used public restrooms if absolutely necessary.  Like Potty Emergency status.  Apparently not at my workplace.  I have seen people walk in with newspapers to go do their business in our bathroom.  And we get people all the time who ask if we have a bathroom.  It makes me laugh because what workplace doesn't have a bathroom?  No, we just pee in the corner.  But then even better, "Where is your bathroom?"  Our store is not a complicated layout.  You walk in the door.  To your right is the counter to order and pick up your smoothie.  Straight ahead of you is a hallway with three doors.  What are the odds that the restroom would be behind the door that says Restroom?  Feel free to poo and not flush. 

Anyone who works in a similar job understands what I'm saying.  Customer service: also a course in human studies.