I just want to take a blog post and comment on the strange activities of Homo sapiens. Working in a customer service job (read: smoothie shop) I get to see the many sides of people and their habits.
There are several types of people that come in, and I can categorize them about two seconds into the routine "Hey how's it going today?"
1. The Need for Speed
-- These people walk in on a mission. I barely get the customary greeting out of my mouth before they yell "CanIGetARegularSizeStrawberryBananaSmoothieWithProteinAndEnergy?" in about one millisecond. I blink. I take their money. I make their smoothie. They're out in under one minute. Most of the time I like these people because I can get back to my life really quickly. It's a little unnerving to be yelled at, however. It would also be nice if they took a breath among some of those words, just so I don't have to put my CPR skills into practice.
2. Wow, There are so many Choices!
-- These are the people that don't realize that fruit smoothies all taste essentially the same: sweet and fruity. They stand staring at the menu boards for ages, reading every single description of our nearly 50 smoothies. They ask which ones I like, or which ones I would suggest, and then totally disregard anything I say anyway. Once they pick their drink (finally), I ask what size they would like. The decision process starts over as they think to themselves "Do I have the extra 75 cents? Will I be able to finish that?" When they order the 'medium', and I'm to the point of insanity, I then have to ask if they want any supplements. The earth stops turning while I wait for that choice. Seriously. Just pick something. You'll be happy, I promise.
3. Too Much Information
--I am just going to lay it out: I do NOT want to hear about your gall bladder problems or the fact that there's allegedly a law in Arizona allowing only 2 sex toys in your house at one time. I don't need to be recruited to other jobs while I'm working, and I don't care about the cruise you just got back from. On the flipside, do not say to me "Wow you're busy, huh?" when there is a line out the door. I'm aware.
4. Do you have a Restroom?
-- It just boggles my mind how many people use our bathroom. I thought the greater majority of the public only used public restrooms if absolutely necessary. Like Potty Emergency status. Apparently not at my workplace. I have seen people walk in with newspapers to go do their business in our bathroom. And we get people all the time who ask if we have a bathroom. It makes me laugh because what workplace doesn't have a bathroom? No, we just pee in the corner. But then even better, "Where is your bathroom?" Our store is not a complicated layout. You walk in the door. To your right is the counter to order and pick up your smoothie. Straight ahead of you is a hallway with three doors. What are the odds that the restroom would be behind the door that says Restroom? Feel free to poo and not flush.
Anyone who works in a similar job understands what I'm saying. Customer service: also a course in human studies.
